Sermon Title: Dealing Effectively With Offenses

Matthew 5:44 and Romans 12:20,21

My Purpose: Early in my walk with the Lord, I personally had inadequate understanding on forgiveness, love and blessing others. I have learned some practical truths that helped me to practice and have victory in these areas. I hope to inspire you to incorporate them into your lives and pass them on.

Theme: Jesus is teaching us to not only forgive limitless times, but to express love to those who offend us by responding with blessing in tangible ways. We will be offended many times in our lives, but will we respond as royalty and bless them “that we may be sons of our Father in heaven”? As He speaks to His followers here in Galilee, He is correcting the false interpretations that some Rabbis, had of Moses’ writings. The enemy loves us to fall into his traps and react as our “buttons are pushed”-usually in a tender spot. Once we do, he has an open door access to bring problems. Sometimes the problems in our life develop later and we don’t often see the connection. When unforgiveness and bitterness lives in us, it can be the root of many mental, emotional, spiritual, physical, relational and financial difficulties. Our relationship with the Lord is faulty when we don’t come before Him with “clean hands and a pure heart”. When we move in the opposite spirit, the power of God comes and changes the “atmosphere” and the outcome. Some wrap themselves in unforgiveness and use it as a false form of protection or wall but in reality, it is a prison and poisonous. I have heard it said that holding on to unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. Once I realized that this was hurting me and that I needed to take the people off my hook and put them onto God’s, I was proactive more often. Until then, I just heard the occasional teaching on it as a good thing to do like –eating your veggies and brushing your teeth.

I worked with a particular doctor who came to my ward in the hospital and loved to harass me. He criticized everything I did and slandered my character. I tried to avoid him and became fearful, anxious and bitter-complaining to others.. Then one day, as I was reading the scriptures in Romans 12, verses 20-21, I had a revelation. So, I thought I’d try it. I bought him a unique birthday card and wrote affirmations in it and put it in his mailbox .I privately prayed for him and spoke out blessings. The next time I saw him, he was so kind and considerate and publicly affirmed me in front of the other staff!! He never again treated me badly. I believe the power of blessing broke the power that the enemy had to harass me. The Lord wants to teach us through these situations –like the proverb says…”Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” By the way, the doctor got into trouble soon afterwards and had to move away.  Love, forgiveness and blessing are powerful weapons of warfare.

Love does not keep a record of wrongs as it says in the love chapter of I Cor. 13. I used to keep a record of all the bad things that happened to me and called it my testimony…not much victory in it.  I rewrote my testimony focusing on the power of God in my life and how the Lord used the situations for his glory and my own personal growth. I’d like to share the practical steps that have helped me develop a lifestyle of forgiveness. (The Response)

!. Allow yourself to freely express to the Lord what happened and how you felt about it. (as David did) this way, we don’t stuff our feelings, but allow the Lord to speak to us and minister to us. Give up your right to be paid back for the wrong. Ask Him for grace to help you to forgive.

2. Lovingly confront the person (wherever possible…as the Lord leads) Use “I” messages as Danny Silk teaches. “I feel-----when-----. I need-------. It is because we care about the other person, that we confront so we can maintain our relationship.

3. We chose to verbally forgive-say it to them; as you pray for them; each time you think of them and the offense. We start by a sheer act of obedience. If we held unforgiveness we need to repent and ask the Lord to forgive us. The Word says that The Father will not forgive us if we don’t forgive others. Many of us don’t realize the incredible debt that Jesus paid for us on the cross, as He teaches us in the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18:21-35)

4. Visualize taking your offense to Jesus and having a Divine exchange. We receive His forgiveness, grace, peace, joy, love, freedom….abundant benefits.

5.Bless them as you pray for them. Speak blessing to their areas of life like their health, marriage, finances,etc The genuine desire to see them blessed comes as you do this. The Holy Spirit may show you tangible ways to bless them too.

6. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you to notice your words and how you feel when recalling the incident. Do they sound bitter? Sometimes it helps to ask someone to keep you accountable in this process.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to trust the person as trust is earned. Just set good boundaries. In summary, I would like to give you a good example of a “forgiveness” prayer.

Lord, I forgive--------. I give You permission to take the judgment and bitterness out of my life. I don’t want it. I surrender it to You and ask You to remove it-to heal me where I have been wounded, to forgive me where I have sinned. I choose not to blame or hold the actions of others against them. I hereby surrender the right to be paid back for my loss, by the one who has sinned against me, and in so doing, I declare my trust in God alone as the Righteous Judge. Father God, bless them in every way. In Jesus Name, Amen